Dark Water
by DarkPrincess1996
Summary: We all go a little mad, don't we? Yuri has a reason behind everything she does, behind every carefully planned aspect of her life. Yet when circumstances are just a little too perfect, she can feel the incoming waves wearing at the foundations of her resolve...


Her heart was pounding.

_Calm down. _Yuri told herself. _This is beyond ridiculous. You have no reason to be reacting this way; calm down!_

Yet her heart continued to race. Yuri covertly placed her hand to her chest, hoping her pretense of brushing a speck out of her long, plum colored hair was sufficient cover. Sure enough, this only confirmed what she already knew as she felt her heart try to jackhammer its way past her ribs to meet her palm.

Through the screen of her hair Yuri could see one of her peers, a young blond boy, watching her curiously. Blushing furiously, she dropped her palm, quickly turning back to the paper in front of her. Of course, she had finished the assignment ten minutes previously, giving her time to read before the final bell of the day. Usually this was something Yuri treasured. Today...not so much.

She fingered the worn binding of _The Portrait of Markov_, letting her sharp black nail run in one of the tears along the spine. She had read it so many times, so many she'd lost count after twelve or thirteen, that the destroyed binding held her place effortlessly. She glanced longingly at her bookbag, shoved as far under her desk as her long legs permitted. Her smelling salts were there, stashed away in the same little secret compartment where she kept her emergency pads and ibuprofen. A few deep breaths of those might take the edge off...though it was a truly sharp edge she craved most at this moment.

She'd brought one of her favorite blades today; an old, worn looking dagger. Its handle was doubly-curved and painted a deep forest green that was chipping in places, though this only added to the battle-worn aesthetic. The blade was thicker than she usually prefered, but the gorgeous inlay of filigree made up for that. To finish it off there was an embossment a skull and something else she wasn't quite sure of, possibly a snake, entwined around it. It was beautiful, and the darkness in it seemed to call out to her, so she kept it.

_Not even that would take away what you know..._the thought floated through her brain. _Contrary to the old practices, you can't bleed the insanity out of you. _Yuri felt lips curved into a smile at this, and a low giggle slipped through her normally stoic exterior.

At the sound of her own laughter Yuri froze in horror; she'd heard that edge in her laugh before, and it meant nothing good. Feeling the urge rise in her again she dug her sharp nails into the skin of her hand, the only part exposed by her uniform, and held her breath. Sure enough, after several seconds of this Yuri felt hersome becoming light-headed, the tension evaporating from her muscles. She exhaled sharply, examining the deep indentations her stiletto nails had left on her skin. There was no blood, as her nails weren't sharp enough to break the skin. She often was in close contact with others while at school, so she made sure to get the blunt tipped ones, but she ached for the longer, sharper variety…

Yuri let her gaze drop to her desk once more, her hand still resting on her tattered book. Her eye met Markov's.

_This is ridiculous! _Yuri thought in exasperation, feeling the vanity of her previous exercise as her heart began to race once more. _You've read this book a thousand times; your mind is just making up new material to entertain itself…_

_But it's there! _She argued with herself, biting her lower lip hard. _It's always been there; I just never noticed it before!_

Yuri hurriedly flipped the book over, breaking the fierce red eye's gaze. Yet now she was faced with another problem. Despite the long block of red text on the back of the book, one word in particular caught her gaze and held it there; Libitina.

_She always hated that name, _Yuri thought to herself. _Because no one knew how to pronounce or spell it; she was always just "Tina" to those who loved her…_

_And because her name was taken from the Roman Goddess of Death. _Yuri's brain, seeing the opening, shot forward like a hound after a fox. "_Lady Death" they called her at the camp, and they thought her long, black hair suited the name well…_

Yuri found herself delicately touching the top of her own head, wishing she had a mirror yet not wanting to attract attention to herself at any cost. It had been a while since she'd last touched up her roots; was her own natural black hair peeking through yet? She understood Libitina's abhorrence towards her natural color; while long, black hair was beautiful in its own way, it often made the pale skinned girl look positively ghoulish.

Yuri herself had chosen purple as her hair color because it had long since been a childhood favorite of hers. The color just seemed oddly soothing somehow, reminding her of lavender and lilacs, flowers that took a close second to her absolute favorite of jasmine. She felt a certain ambivalence towards lilies, which she found oddly ironic considering that was what her own name meant.

_There, _Yuri thought firmly, actually rapping her knuckles across the desk in satisfacion. _You see? Your name means either "light" or "lily", depending on the translation; "Yuri" and "Libitina" have about as much in common as-_

_January 5, 2001._

There was no getting around that one. Yuri had initially been thrilled upon her first reading of the book to discover that the girl who was quickly becoming her favorite character of all time not only shared her physical appearance (Yuri had yet to color her hair upon her first reading) but also her birthday. She had not yet thought anything of this, just a fun little coincidence. After all, she was far from the only person to have been born on the fifth day of 2001. Yet there was more; so much more.

Yuri had dug, at first with gleeful enthusiasm, then with growing alarm, though the book's lore, yet her results were always the same. She and Libitina had far, _far_ too much in common. True, there were no film or stage adaptations of the character to compare herself to, but somehow that made the situation worse. She had only the book's description, and then of course fanart. The former fits her exactly, while the latter, while rarely being hyper realistic, still looked eerily like her. Over the summer, Yuri had actually found one realistic portrait done of Libitina, posted to her favorite fansite. With a shaking hand she'd held her phone up to her own framed senior portrait; except for the differing hair colors, it could have easily been the same person.

Being an only child, Yuri had always been praised for her imagination, whether this was through reading, writing, or playing make-believe as child. She'd always assumed the latter would simply fade away on its own as she grew older and began to interact with the world. Yet Yuri never did, perhaps because she never broke out of her protective shell. Her vivid daydreams still haunted her every step even at the age of eighteen, try as she might to push them away, making an effort to grow up. In her mind this seemed something she should have given up a decade ago. Everyone else had...hadn't they?

_Maladaptive-_ a snide voice began in the back of her mind, but Yuri cut it off abruptly; she didn't have the stamina to deal with _that_ today.

Of course, Yuri still read voraciously and her passion for writing was what had attracted former debate team captain Monika to her. The girl, for some reason or another, had decided to start a club based around literature. The girls had shared an advanced english course the previous year, and Monika had taken notice of their teacher's frequent praise of the Yuri's work. There were two other girls in the club as well; a puffed up, pink haired creature named Natsuki and a bubbly girl with enormous blue eyes who had gleefully introduced herself as Sayori. With the four of them they had only just enough members to be officially considered a club.

Yuri had astonished herself upon accepting Monika's invitation to join the club. Perhaps it was how Monika has phrased it, making it sound as though it would be a great honor for Yuri to join them, knowing of her experience with literature. She'd even hinted that she would understand if Yuri declined; as it was her senior year she was bound to be busier than usual.

Yuri, always on the lookout for a loophole, very nearly jumped at this opportunity. Yet then she thought of Monika asking another to join the club, with the same phrasing. Someone else with less experience than her becoming a founding member of a club that had everything to do with something she was passionate about. Didn't she often dream of explaining her reasoning behind her writing, of discussing tactics with people actually interested in the topic, as opposed to apathetic classmates for an assignment? So, she'd agreed, hoping the club would both ease her loneliness as well as give what she deemed a proper outlet for her imagination. However, it seemed to be doing a lackluster job at both these things.

Perhaps it was because she'd never truly begun to live that her mind had come to this conclusion; yes, that must be it! Yuri grasped at this excuse, pitiful as it was in several ways, as if it were a liferaft. Usually she tried to avoid thinking about her lack of social life as much as possible. Sure, it depressed her when she thought about it too much, but she had her books and her poetry that was all she would ever need.

And yet…was it? What was the point in denying herself the lush world of her own imagination if she was to never truly immerse herself in the world, interacting with others to the degree of which she craved? Yuri had cut herself off from these fantasies years ago because she found that, while they allowed her to more fully express herself, her personality seemed just a bit too strong for her young peers to handle. Those who weren't outwardly frightened of her simply thought her mad, or else teased her mercilessly for her quirks. She thought she'd find her fulfilment in the world outside her own head, but only found barrenness and crippling anxiety facing the world without the shield of her daydreams to protect her.

So she lived life in a precarious sort of purgatory; forbidden to indulge, yet seemingly powerless to act without her crutch. Since books and poetry writing were two hobbies that allowed her to use her imagination without guilt she spent most of her time on those, pursuing both with reckless abandon in an effort to at least _appear_ sane. She knew she didn't succeed, and although she'd started cutting long before she stopped actively fantasizing, there had definitely been an uptick in frequency around the same time.

Yuri had never ceased to be frustrated that her favorite book was both a stand alone novel and one that, in her opinion, did not have the notoriety it deserved. There had been brief talk of a movie a little over a year ago, but after no further developments it seemed that this was all it was. However the book did have a very fleshed out universe, as many facts on the characters and locations were detailed in the documents presented both in the novel itself and its companion volume, _The Markov Files_. The latter had only been released two months prior, and of course Yuri had already gone through the small tome three times. The number would have been higher had the start of her senior year of high school not otherwise distracted her. She, of course, knew every aspect of Libitina's file that was recounted in the book, but she had been astonished to find a new bit of information. Her favorite character was 5'5", the exact height of Yuri herself.

And yet there was still more…

It was recorded on her lab report of January 5, 2004 (her third birthday) that the subject exhibited several odd tendencies, while under observation. Apparently the girl was quite excitable, prone to random vocal tics, bouts of screaming and violent displays of emotion as a whole. Perhaps not too uncommon in a toddler...but the self harm and attempts to harm the examiner certainly were. Yuri recalled her manic giggles from just a moment before and flitched, tracing one long nail unconsciously along the hidden cuts on her arms.

_How strange, _Yuri mused, her face a mask of calm although her heart still raced. _There is no record of Libitina's middle name on her paperwork; just her first name and redacted last name. Yet she says right in the first chapter her middle name is-_

Yuri froze, her racing heart seeming to stop, then double its already frantic pace. _No. No, no, NO! Not here! Not another one! This couldn't be true; this couldn't be real-and yet…_

Libitina's middle name was Lily. Yuri knew this; had known it for years. She had also known for her entire life the meaning of her own name; Yuri. In fact, her family had often used this in their gift giving ideas; her own grandmother sent her a vase of lilies every year on her birthday since she turned thirteen. How, how, _how had she never seen it before?!_

_Calm down, _Yuri thought frantically, feeling her breathing accelerate to match her racing heart. _You've got to look at this rationally; you're probably jumping to conclusions. _

_And if I'm not? _Yuri argued with herself. _Why does all of this fit so well? What is going on? Why me? What-?_

Yuri twitched violently at the shrill sound of the bell sounded throughout the school. Accompanied by this was an echo of hundreds of scraping chairs, footsteps, talking and laughter as everyone made their way towards their new destinations, mainly clubs.

Yuri groaned internally. She had a meeting with the literature club that afternoon, and while she usually found it to be a welcome experience (although the club was very much still gaining its footing) today she would much rather go straight home. The thought of hiding in her room, her diffuser filled with jasmine oil seemed like a welcome remedy to the chaos in her head.

_I'll just leave, _she thought. _If I run into any of the girls, I'll say I have a headache._

She stood, carefully shifting her long hair over her shoulder as she swung her bag in place. Silently hoping the group of tough looking girls who always seemed to hang around the back entrance of the school were elsewhere today, she made for the door.

"Ooof!" Yuri gasped as something small and very solid collided with her chest. Slightly winded, she looked down to see Sayori, rubbing her head and looking up at her with her enormous blue eyes.

"Sorry!" she squeaked before Yuri could say anything. "I wasn't watching where I was going; I'm not usually in this part of the building!"

"What are you looking for?" Yuri asked, carefully bending down to scoop up the books that had fallen out of both her and Sayori's arms.

"Room 308." Sayori said, picking up a pencil case and handing it off to Yuri. "I'm coming to the club meeting, I swear; I just had to-do something…" A wide smile suddenly spread over the other girl's face, and Yuri couldn't help but smile in return. She liked Sayori, finding the younger girl's friendly and bubbly demeanor rather charming and easy to get along with. She did envy her the position of Vice President, however Yuri couldn't help but admit that Sayori had been the first to approach Monika regarding the club, so she supposed she'd earned it, though Yuri herself had oceans more experience…

"Well, you're actually two doors too far down." Yuri chuckled. "This is 304."

"Yeah, I figured that out when I saw the door." Sayori said, making a vain effort to fix her hair bow, which was perpetually akimbo. "But when I saw you I thought I'd let you know I might be a few minutes late, you know, since I got so lost...are you excited?" she blurted abruptly, as if she couldn't contain her excitement another moment.

Yuri blinked, wondering what she could be referring to. There was the school festival, but that was a week away, and seemed a rather abrupt change of subject even for Sayori.

Her confusion must have shone in her expression because Sayori's cheery smile faded slightly. "Did you forget?" she asked, sounding slightly hurt. "I was bringing in our new member today! I'm looking for his classroom now!"

"Oh!" Yuri gasped, suddenly remembering Sayori's excited announcement at the club meeting the previous Friday. "N-no, of course not! I'm sorry, I was just a little…" for a moment Yuri's mind flickered back to the book tucked under her arm; how on earth could she actually explain such a thing to another person? Sayori, however, smiled.

"Monday brain, eh?" she chuckled. "No worries, but I'd better go. I just realized that if I don't catch him I'll miss-I mean, I he won't know where to find us." Sayori flushed a little at this and Yuri looked at her mystified. Why did it seem like she wasn't getting the whole story here?

"Ok," Yuri said, her heart sinking even as she felt it's fast, uneven rhythm; there was no way she could skip such an important meeting. "I'll meet you upstairs then?"

Sayori's usual smile hitched back into place. "You bet!" she beamed. "Tell Monika I'll be as quick as I can!" and with that, the small girl all but flew out the door.

_She must really like this guy,_ Yuri though, seeming to recall something about the two of them being childhood friends as she walked up the stairs towards their designated meeting place. Or was it neighbors? Or both? Honestly, during that particular conversation the topic that haunted her now had filled her thoughts and-true to form- as hard as Yuri tried she just had her usual hard time focusing when such topics filled her thoughts. Only further proof they could only do harm...right?

_But what if thats not the case?_

Yuri's felt the all too familiar urge to stifle this thought, and all its implications. Of course thoughts of this nature were harmful. After all what could come of actually entertaining the notion that she actually was a character in her favorite book? Especially since that character not only had horrific psychic powers she often used to manipulate others for her own gain and was considered, for all intensive purposes...an antagonist? Even if she never truly believed it (though her "evidence" was overwhelming) just how would allowing such thoughts to stew in her brain for any length of time do to her? Didn't she remembers what her peers thought of her when she'd openly indulged these fancies as a child?

_And yet…_

For a moment, a mere instant, really, Yuri indulge herself. She let this concept roll over her like a wave, her walls crashing down, and she was immersed in the dark water.

She could feel the power giving her mind free reign gave her. Instead of the tired sluggishness she'd felt in her limbs previously, they now surged with new strength. Her posture straightened, and she lifted her chin; she could almost feel her eyes flashing.

_This power is mine, _she thought with icy certainty as fire flowed through her veins. _I retain the power of the third eye; I am Markov's true daughter. _

Yuri suddenly felt her body go rigid, confusion sweeping over her. It was as if her head had suddenly broken through warm water to the chilly air above. She felt reduced, oddly exposed, and-suddenly self-conscious, stooped her posture again, blushing lest anyone noticed her momentary insanity.

_But was it insanity? I haven't felt that alive in such a long time…_

But where had that last thought come from, the part about being Dr. Markov's daughter? Libitina's true parentage, as well as that of her half-sister Elyssa, had been hinted at throughout the novel. There were several candidates, but nothing would be confirmed until the release of the second book of what was promised to be a trilogy was to be released next summer. Yuri had her doubts, however; this was the third time the release date of the book had been pushed back.

Dr. Markov was a popular option for Libitina's father to be sure, but not a probable one, as the bulk of the evidence went towards it being either Professor Carpenter or the mysterious Luke Crabwell (Yuri herself hoped for the former, but grudgingly admitted it was most likely the latter). And yet now Yuri felt certain that this was the case, though she hadn't even been a supporter of this theory before.

_There, see? See what indulging in this insanity does to you? You've always been praised for your rational, Yuri; don't go ruining that now…_

The door to the clubroom was propped open slightly, and as she approached Yuri thought she could make out Monika and Natsuki's voices. Giving herself one last mental thrust out of the dark ocean of her thoughts, she gingerly pushed open the door.

"Ah, Yuri, perfect timing!" Monika said, hoping down from her perch atop the teacher's desk and striding briskly towards her. "Sayori and our new member haven't arrived yet-"  
"I know," Yuri said, cutting her off abruptly and blushing at her rudeness. "Sorry-what I mean is-I ran into Sayori on the way here; she said she might be a few minutes late."

Natsuki, who was carefully placing a wrapped tray on one of the desks towards the front, snorted in irritation.

"Figures," the pink haired girl grumbled. "If Sayori is going to ask me to bake cupcakes the least she can do is try to be on time the day I'm bringing them in!"

"But Natuski," Monika said, her mouth twitching into a smile as though she were fighting back laughter. "Didn't you volunteer?"

"Humph!" Swiftly defeated, Natsuki plopped into the desk, glaring moodily at the tinfoil in front of her. Still snickering, Monika turned back to Yuri.

"Anyway, do you think you could whip up some tea for us?" she asked. "It would be a big help and would go great with the cupca-"

The door swung open, and Sayori strode forward, her blue eyes shining.

"Everyone, the new member is here!" she announced proudly. Yuri found herself peering forward curiously with the other girls as Sayori stepped aside, showcasing the young adolescent boy standing just behind her.

"I told you," he muttered frantically to Sayori, looking oddly dejected. "Don't call me a 'new member-'" he froze as he looked past Sayori into the room, where Yuri, Monika and Natsuki waited eagerly.

Yuri's heart was pounding again, but her previous worries were far from her mind now.

The boy was about average height, though he nonetheless towered over the petite Sayori. His skin was a creamy ivory, and his hair a soft, chocolatey brown. And his eyes, oh, Yuri was captivated by them. At first glance they seemed the same shade of brown as his hair, but when the young man stepped into the light Yuri saw golden flecks glimmer in their depths. She'd never seen a more beautiful creature in her life.

Normally Yuri would have stopped herself, reminding herself she barely had the courage to make friends let alone do anything other than shoot coveted glances at a boy. Yet then she remembered how she'd let the dark waters overtake her in the hall. With a single blink, she'd been engulfed, the foundations of her reservations nothing but a memory as she dove deeper into the glittering gold of those strange topaz eyes.

Before she knew what she was doing Yuri had stepped forward, hands clasped behind her back in a way she knew accentuated her willowy form. She looked up from beneath long lashes at him, an uncharacteristically coy smile playing about her lips. The boy's eyes were wide, but with what? Shock, fear...arousal? Yes, his gaze had most definitely flickered to her chest more than once. Normally this would have embarrassed Yuri to the point of horrified silence. Yet now...

"Welcome to the literature club." she said, a quiet authority in her soft voice. The boy's breath seemed to hitch a little as she watched, and he swallowed convulsively as his eyes seemed to flicker briefly downward before meeting hers once more. Her veins were singing the same siren song as the dark, insanity driven water that surged through them as her new blood. "It's a pleasure meeting you. Sayori always says such nice things about you…"


End file.
